Today I heard the phrase Tit for Tat. I’ve always believed that it meant, “You give what you get.” I began thinking about this with regard to romance.
I decided to look up the origin of the phrase:
AT:http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/tit-for-tat.html
“Tit for tat
Meaning
A blow or some other retaliation in return for an injury from another.
Origin
It’s tempting to assume that this little phrase is another way of saying ‘this for that’ and, in a way, it is. ‘Tit’ and ‘tat’ are both the names of small blows which originated as ‘tip’ and ‘tap’. These are recorded by Charles, Duke of Orleans in a book of poems that he wrote while captive in England after the battle of Agincourt and first published circa 1466:
“Strokis grete, not tippe nor tapp.”
The widespread unconcern about spelling and pronunciation in the Middle Ages led to ‘tip’, ‘tap’, ‘tit’ and ‘tat’ all to be variant spellings. John Heywood appears to be the first to have used ‘tit for tat’, in the parable The Spider and the Flie, 1556:
“That is tit for tat in this altricacion [altercation].”

In the 20th century, ‘tit for tat’ was the source of the Cockney rhyming slang ‘titfer’, meaning hat. The renowned lexicographer of slang Eric Partridge listed that in 1930, in Songs & Slangof the British Soldier:
Tit-for, tit-for-tat, i.e. hat.
This usage was popularised by the British comedian Tommy Trinder who, although he was born several miles from the sound of Bow Bells, in Streatham, London, and hence not strictly a cockney, exemplified cockney style to most people. He was rarely seen in public without his titfer tat.

Most recently still, ‘tit for tat’ has been used as the name of the strategy in the classic logic problem of game theory, the Prisoner’s Dilemma. This strategy, which has since been applied successfully in many real life situations, recommends a like for like retaliation as the most rewarding response to duplicity by one’s opponent.”

I had not thought of it in regards to a blow or retaliation. How could I have missed that all these years of my life? I have thought it was a good motto for life. If you give something to someone you could receive something similar. I thought of good things.
So of course this called for a little more research.
On another good site: http://artofmanliness.com/2012/04/10/beware-the-tit-for-tat-trap/
“Beware The Tit for Tat Trap
by Brett & Kate McKay on April 10, 2012 • in Relationships & Family cautioned against this practice in a relationship.

“The Faulty Calculations of Those Stuck in The Tit for Tat Trap
Couples who fall into The Tit for Tat Trap base their relationships on strict reciprocity. “I will only do this, if you do that. And if you stop doing what I expect of you, I will stop doing what you expect of me….” (Please follow the link for the full discussion.)

Therefore what I have believed about Tit for Tat has been opposite the general interpretation of the meaning of this phrase.
I do enjoy learning new things but I am disheartened when my positive thought about the world turns around to have been a negative. Perhaps I should start a movement and turn Tit for Tat into a hug for a hug, a kiss for a kiss, respect for respect, love for love. Hmmm, although it is a positive for a positive if it is strict reciprocity it may not be the best that a relationship could be. But it would be a good start.